Both sides are better than one

One of your best friends had a bad day and needs to vent. So obviously you’re the go to for venting. They come over all flustered and start to unleash the chaos they encountered. It is mainly focused around one person, their significant other. They go into further detail explaining that their entire day was ruined by a few actions the other person committed. Those few actions caused your friends entire day to implode. Its was like a wrecking ball hitting a house of cards, just devastating. So after listening to your friends stories you join the crusade against the wrong-doer. You black list the individual and as far as your concerned that are worth less than dirt for what they did to YOUR friend.

A few days later you see your friends significant other at the grocery store and its on. Just by seeing them all you can think about is the next big extinction. Pure rage comes over you. You strategically corner this poor sap in an isle and unlock the gates of hell on this fool. You go into vivid detail on how they hurt your friend and how they are in the wrong. Then the significant other snaps back in a polite manner explaining the other half of the situation that went down between them. Come to find out your friend was just as much in the wrong as their significant other. Now your once beet red face is flush white and you are speechless. You made a scene at the grocery store and somewhat embarrassed yourself.

It’s okay to trust our friends and listen to what they say. Truly understand their emotions and how they felt during the story they are telling you, but that was a tool for your friend to vent. It wasn’t meant for you to wedge yourself into their relationship and cause havoc because you thought it was just from hearing just one side of the story. Your friend trusted you and wanted to release some steam. You used that information in a way that could potentially ruin your relationship in the future. Respect that your friend confides in you to share moments like these. And leave it that way.

One of the most important things here is listening or understanding both sides of the situation. Until you take the time to understand the big picture it is kind of hard to go on the defensive or offensive in any situation. You first have to ask why. Be curious about what truly happened and not just the subjective side of the story. Even if it was just your best friend in the world, still listen to both sides of the story before you make or pass judgement. You’ll be saving yourself some embarrassment and maybe even a relationship if you take a minute to understand the whole story rather than what you were told.

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