So you’re kicking this whole new year new you thing right in the face. You’re rocking it hardcore. Like mega focused, very energized, and you can feel yourself heading down the right path. You know that feeling that everything is starting to feel right. You’re killing it at work, you have stepped your game up at the gym, and you are eating healthier than ever. You even have a plan of how to keep on track and you keep a daily journal with your progress. Heck you have even inspired some friends to join you on your marathon of change.
But this is not something you just started doing 7 days ago, it’s something that has been in the works for a while. This is probably like year 2 of your get awesome plan. A lot of people have noticed your progress and have commented about it. Most of the comments and compliments are great and encouraging. Yet we all have some baggage from time to time. Maybe there’s a friend, coworker, lover, or a family member that’s a hardcore hater, a Debbie downer, a negative Nancy, you know that person or group of people who are trying to discourage you. They try to keep you back because you use to be cool and hangout all the time. You would hook them up with a place to crash after a hardcore night of partying. You guys would watch movies, hangout, and have fun together.
Having people who are trying to hold you back or discourage you from your personal growth is taxing situation. It can take its toll over time and cause you to lose focus, motivation, and derail you from your path. A negative side to this scenario is that you may be trying to be nice and understanding towards them. You have known them a long time or your whole life and you care for them because you have such a long relationship, or they are a family member, or they are your significant other.
With your positive growth your topics of interest change with time. You have started to enjoy the things you are learning about from the books you are reading, how you are positively advancing your life, what the next step is, what you are learning from free online classes, how that ted talk gave you some insight about your career, and basically stuff that helps you become a happier and better person. Those negative Nancy’s may not be fans of that kind of stuff. They may discourage talking about those topics or could even make fun of it. They may still be more interested in partying, drinking, and hanging out. Or reminiscing about the good ol’ days.
It could infact be time for you to take a look in the mirror, get your priorities straight, and make a decision. What matters to you? Why are you doing it? Does it make it make me happy? Does it make be better? Does it make it money? What is most important to you? You have to ask yourself some questions and take action based of your answers. If its important for you to keep this person in your life then you are probably going to limit yourself in terms of growth. If you decide that your life is more important to you, which is should be, then you are going to have to burn some bridges.
Think about it this way your taking a flight. You pack your suitcase, head to the airport, you check-in for your flight and put your suitcase on the scale. It’s over by 20 pounds. Either you pay extra to take the stuff with you on your trip or you get rid of the 20 pounds. The longer you keep traveling the more money you will have to keep paying to take the extra 20 pounds with you.
You have to action. Sometimes letting a person go can be very tough, Especially if you have known them for a long time. But you have to remember. One of the facets of your growth is the five people you hangout with the most. If those people are all like-minded and looking to growth and develop, it’s a positive for you. If some are growth orientated and others are still stagnant, well you’re the average of those 5 people. Also getting rid of the person can free up a lot of time and energy.
It can be a tough choice to make, but if your continued success is important to you than you will leave that person behind and move on.